1. Don't take it personally

Feeling subjected to scrutiny?When someone keeps a kosher standard that is more strict than your own, don't automatically assume that they look down on you because of it. Most people go though many stages in their observance, and they can probably understand differing views, even if they don't agree.

There is a natural tendency to feel threatened by the observances of others. Resist that temptation. Honestly evaluate your kosher observance, and make a conscious decision about what you feel is right. Do you feel very comfortable with your kosher standards? Good. Do you feel like you have more learning to do before you can make an informed decision? Good. Be honest with yourself about that, and feel satisfied about the decisions you do make in the meantime. Insecurity can lead a person to feel threatened; just be confident that you are doing the best that you know to do right now, and be comfortable with the possibility that you might change in the future.

If you have a friend who has a different type of observance, be open to learning new things without feeling like you have to swallow everything whole. If you disagree, be confident and cordial in disagreement. Let the difference in opinion be a reason to communicate and not to separate. Most likely, your "more-kosher-than-thou" friend does not look down on you for your decisions. But even if they do, be confident, humble, and mature, and don't let their bad attitude make you feel resentful or insecure.

Also, don't take it personally if your guest feels a need to quiz you about your food or cooking practices. They probably don't mean to call into question your character or trustworthiness. Traditional kosher law is sometimes very complex, and someone who does not do it on a regular basis is very likely to miss certain things.